Better than Google

Cartoon of a man at an information boothCartoon of a man at a church information booth who says, “You’ve been very helpful… even better than Google!

I feel sorry for reference librarians and the people that mind information booths. There was once a time when those skills depended solely on your knowledge compared to other people. Now they have to compete with search engines. At least the human touch can be much more friendly than the Googled version.

I drew this for the May 2017 Church of God CHOGNews.

Non GMO sermons

Cartoon of a man shaking a pastor's hand. He says, “What a great sermon, Pastor! I could tell it was not genetically modified.”I admire the pastors who have delivered sermons ever since I was old enough to recognize it was my Grandpa at the pulpit and he was saying some pretty deep things. 

I look at the guy who is trying to flatter the pastor as clueless. Perhaps he has grabbed on to a phrase that he has no clue about and just wants to sound sophisticated. 

When you shake hands with your pastor this morning, be sure your complement suggests you actually heard and retained the sermon within your good old noggin. 

Buy a Vowel, Pastor Alex

Cartoon of a pastor panicking to his administrative professionalCartoon of a panicking pastor. He says to an administrative professional, “Quick! I’m writing my sermon and I just realized I needed to buy more vowels!

What would we do without our vowels?
W_’d b_  _n  _  l_t  _f tr_ _bl_! Thank you, Wheel of Fortune! You probably bought all the vowels and caused a shortage for this pastor.

Double Helix Church

Cartoon of a woman answering the the telephone. The solicitor is selling a DNA testing machineCartoon of a woman answering a telephone. She says, “No thank you. I am pretty sure our church does not need a DNA testing machine.

I am not sure a genetic testing machine would make background checks in children’s and youth ministry easier. But all the same, I think churches will have no need for this office machine of the future. Actually, I hope the average office won’t need it either!

The Hazards of Church Bats and Squirrels

cartoon of a janitor with a squirrel on his head. He says, “We don’t have bats in the belfry. But we may have squirrels in the attic.”Janitor says, “We don’t have bats in the belfry. But we may have squirrels in the attic.”

Maintenance issues abound at churches, especially the older ones. I never attended a church that had a belfry. But I wish I did so I could say at least once there were bats in the belfry. It seems squirrels in the attic would create an equally erratic outcome.

I drew this for the April 2017 Church of God CHOGNews.