How to solve the biggest problem with marriage

Man in knight armor says to receptionist, "If anyone needs me, I'll be counseling a couple."

I am not a certified marriage counselor, but I’ve been married for twenty-five years and am looking forward to the next twenty-five. We’ve had out ups and downs, but I am relieved to say my bride has stuck with me. What has been our secret? Mutual submission.

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21

The biggest problem with all marriages is that it contains two selfish people. When I entered into marriage, I selfishly thought my bride would take care of all my needs. And she thought the same. We had to learn to work together, show humility and to think of the other person.

It isn’t easy, and our culture won’t help. It will tell you it is all about your needs and your desires. That is why the more selfish we get as a society, the more marriage has suffered.

If you are a Christian, I would encourage you to read Ephesians 5:21-33.  It contains some tough instructions for a husband and wife to follow.  But I have found that it works.

It never was just about our needs.

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Why you can expect change in a marriage.

Cartoon of a bearded lady and a man

Cartoon of a bearded lady and a man. The man says, “Face it, Helen! You’re not the same gal I married.”

Change is going to happen, whether you want it or not. That’s just the nature of things. Some of us will gain hair where we don’t want it and others will long for the days when we had hair.

If you celebrated any wedding anniversary, then you simply aren’t the married to the same person you once were. We all change.

That’s a good thing. Celebrate the fact even our relationships change. Nothing stays the same. If an organism is alive, it is either growing or dying.

Take the time to make sure your relationship is growing even as the both of you are growing. Invest in your marriage like you would tend a garden.

Your partner probably isn’t the same person you married. And come to think about it, she may be very glad you aren’t the same person she married!

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Honeymoon Thwarted

Cartoon of two hotel doors. One reads, "Honeymoon Suite." The other says, "Young Baby With Colicky Baby Suite."
Cartoon of two hotel doors. One reads, “Honeymoon Suite.” The other says, “Young Baby With Colicky Baby Suite.”

Cold as Ice

Cartoon of a marriage counselor, snowman and woman. The snowman says, “Look! I’m willing to compromise, but I just can’t vacation in Florida!”

This dedicated to my snow bunny who would love nothing more than to vacation all winter in Florida. Happy anniversary, Honey. Here’s to many more walks on the beach with you.