The Secret Guardian of the Front Porch

Cartoon of a man in a porch swing

Cartoon of a middle-age man sitting in a porch swing. He says to a woman, “Care to join me? I’m part of a secret group known as, ‘The Guardians of the Front Porch.'”

Frank had a crush on Edna for a lo-o-o-o-ong time! His adoration for her went all the way to the fourth grade. She was always with her friends on the playground. He would try to get her attention by pretending he didn’t notice her. Unfortunately, that worked too well. Edna didn’t notice Frank until eighth grade.

By that time, Frank was quite sensitive about his acne. He had one pimple that refused to leave until senior high. When they were both juniors, Frank almost asked Edna to the prom. Unfortunately, Percy, “The Rock,” Marbel also had the same idea.

Edna and Percy dated until they both split for college. Frank stayed home after graduation and worked at the local cardboard box factory. The one time Edna returned from college, Frank decided this was the day to meet up with her. Unfortunately, he was boxed in a tragic taping accident and shipped to Des Moines.

Thirty years later, Frank was fully recovered from the unfortunate boxing match. As he sat on his mother’s front porch, he spotted Edna walking downy he street. His lip quivered as he thought what would be the wittiest thing to say. He had just seen a television special on secret societies. What could be wittier than that? He called for Edna. She turned and smiled. She walked up to the porch. Now was Frank’s big chance…

This was part of the Write practice writing prompt entitled, “What is your Character’s Secret?