It’s a topic we know we all need, but rarely want to talk about. After all, it is much easier to blame others for our lack of willpower, than take responsibility. As a parent, some of the most humbling times were when it was obvious to my kids I wasn’t exhibiting strong character. It usually involved a bag of chips.
Published in the January 2012 Church of God Newsletter
We all have issues with self-control. Whether it’s a weakness for tasty food, idleness, or something much harder to control, we all struggle with something. Why do I suddenly feel hungry this morning?
Most of us think it would be great if there was a little more consideration in the world. We would like to be treated better, whether at a store on the road. But do we ever consider that our kindness saves us?
We were traveling on the day after Christmas. I thought things were a little crazy before the holidays. However, December 26 had nothing on the pre-Christmas madhouse.
On the interstate, muscle cars, pickups, and the occasional motorcycle acted like they were in a Fast and Furiousmovie. When I was driving, I felt my blood pressure rise and my brow furrow.
At one point, we came upon an accident. Traffic was backed up about six miles. All the previous speeders had to slow down like the rest of us. They had no choice. Since I was the passenger at this point, I got a photo of the aftermath.
Frequently, it is selfishness and cruelty that harm us. We believe we have the right to do an aggressive, selfish act only to discover it didn’t help the situation and only made things worse.
Hopefully, the parties involved were okay. And if an aggressive drive was involved, hopefully, someone learned a lesson before they destroy themselves or others. Let’s be kind to one another out there before we destroy each other.
To be wise is to learn what is important and what won’t matter in a few years. It is to be able to discern between the foolishness of short-term pleasure and long-term satisfaction. Wisdom leads to joy while foolishness leads to heartache and regret.
“Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.”
Someone may know how to manipulate and get their way in the short term. But what happens to the relationship with the duped victim? Another person may give in to a short-term addiction only to discover it ruins their life. None of us can predict the future. But wisdom can help us shape our future in ways that are predictable and tested through the ages.
Yesterday, I was listening to How Now Shall We Live? by Chuck Colson. In the book, he writes what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote this phrase in the United States Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Colson’s assertion is that this opening phrase was never meant to be a license to hedonistic pleasure. John Stonestreet from the Colson Center also alludes to this and quotes Colson on a July 4, 2019, podcast. “Happiness” was not meant as an excuse to do whatever feels good. Instead, happiness comes from living a virtuous, wise life.
Wisdom causes us to pursue virtue. That pursuit leads to joy. My hope and prayer for everyone are that we take a long-term approach to life and pursue a wise life of virtue that leads to happiness and joy.
The prudent understand where they are going, but fools deceive themselves.
Proverbs 14:8
Prudence has come to mean something totally different in our culture. A prude is considered a killjoy that never has any fun. If you have a balloon, the prude will pop it. If there is any excitement, our culture believes a prudent person will quash it.
We idolize the startup that will “move fast and break things.” The minimal viable product is considered the best way to get something to market without it getting bogged down in experimentation, consideration, and tweaking. And sometimes that is a great way to move.
But there are other times when prudence is needed. Moving fast without planning can hurt. The story of Theranos and the ensuing trial shows what can happen when one moves too fast without a real plan or product that actually works.
The True Definition of Prudence
Prudence is less about being a killjoy and more about using planning, good judgment, and careful consideration in any venture. We need to have a plan before forging ahead. Moving fast doesn’t work if we are going in the wrong direction.
Prudence is taking caution and considering the outcomes. It is seeking and implementing advice where warranted. Just as there is such a thing as being too cautious, it is also possible to be too impulsive and spontaneous.
A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.
Proverbs 22:3
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Let’s use a little prudence in business and life.
It can be frustrating when things aren’t going your way. Someone isn’t meeting a deadline. That stupid supply chain is ruining your sales! Why can’t that kid do what I ask when I asked him? There are plenty of situations to get frustrated about.
Each time the frustration builds, we have an opportunity to make things better or worse. You can raise your voice and invoke fear to get things done, and it may work in the short-term. But what does that do in the long-term? Fear-based leadership is no leadership at all.
And what happens if it doesn’t make things happen, but the angry words just accelerate between you and the other party? Fear-based leadership become less effective when the other party is no longer afraid—even angrier than you. Then you end up with bigger problems.
There are plenty of reasons to get frustrated and lash out. But Proverbs 15:1 reminds me how we reply makes all the difference.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
The last two years have been frustrating for everyone. There is no shortage of stories on people behaving badly because of frustrations. We don’t know what a person could be going through or what they’ve lost recently.
When tensions are high, we have an opportunity to make things better or worse by our reply. A soft answer could make all the difference in your day and mine!
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