Forbes has an article entitled What John Wayne Got Wrong About Apologizing. In it, John Baldoni uses a John Wayne quote to illustrate why it is okay to say, “Apologies accepted.”
“Never apologize, mister, it’s a sign of weakness.”
John Wayne as Captain Nathan Brittles in, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon
Never apologize… Really? Baldoni goes on to show why that philosophy is actually a bad idea. Refusing to apologize doesn’t make someone strong. In fact, it erodes trust, eliminates accountability, and corrodes culture. In other words, apologies aren’t a sign of weakness. They are a sign of someone with a healthy ego.
If we pretend we are never wrong, how can we make progress towards a goal? It is a recipe for disaster. Therefore, we must have the courage to admit when we are going in the wrong direction.
A long time ago, when paper maps were still the way to get around, I was lost in the middle of southern Indiana. Wherever we were didn’t appear to be where we wanted to go.
I acted like the stereotypical male and refused to admit I had no clue where we are. The more we drove, the more obvious we were wrong. I knew better. This kind of predicament that cartoons are made of. I was making myself the butt of a joke.
I could fool my kids. But I couldn’t fool my wife. At first, she patiently asked me to get directions. After about a half-hour of this, she had enough. It probably didn’t help that we drove by the same convenience store again. She strongly encouraged me to stop and ask how to get to our destination. After a two-minute conversation, we were off and going where we wanted.
Consequently, we would like to believe no one notices when we are going in the wrong direction. But we aren’t fooling anyone. So when we mess up (and we will), let’s have the courage to utter an apology. Then we may be surprised to hear the reply, “Apologies accepted!”