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But Why Won’t Kids Stop Nagging?

Cartoon of a mom and a son at breakfast. The son says, "I want something different for breakfast. What about seven-layer bean dip?"

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Cartoon of a son and his mother at breakfast. The son says, “I want something different for breakfast. What about seven-layer bean dip?”

Amy McCready has some great advice on Positive Parenting Solutions about child nagging and negotiating. Her solution is to say three simple words: “Ask and Answered.”

It can be hard to stand firm when you are pummeled with the “Why can’t I’s?” and the “but ple-e-e-e-e-ases?” But it’s so important to stand firm, especially when a child asks for something unreasonable.

Another solution that has worked for me is think first before you say “no.” Consider your answer before you give it. Sometimes, we say no because it is inconvenient for us as a parent. If the request is reasonable, and can even become a shared experience with your child, consider the request before you give them a nay.

But once you made your answer known, don’t be wishy-washy. That is only leads to misery when they are persistent at the next request.

Be strong and courageous (and consider your no’s before you make them!).

 

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Ready for Black Friday?

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Cartoon of a boy with a football helmet. He says to his mom, “I’m ready to hit the Black Friday sales with you.
I was watching some football and was assaulted by all the Black Friday ads. I’m not sure which game is rougher: the tackling or the shopping. Be safe out there, warriors!

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How to Have a Happy Thanksgiving

Spear Cartoon 2949

Cartoon of a husband and a wife with a musket. The wife says, “We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving. Here’s a musket. The turkey is in the backyard.”

It’s the holiday season in the United States and all the expectations for a perfect holiday begin tomorrow when we all gather for a feast. Unfortunately, some of those hopes will be dashed before someone says, “Pass the cranberries.”

My mom was a nurse, which meant she had to work many holidays. One of the benefits of that was while we had holiday traditions, they were flexible. We didn’t have to do the same thing every year. We could move things around our calendar, or even save an event until the next year.

That came in handy for me as a became an adult. One Thanksgiving, my poor wife had the flu. We dutifully shipped our son to the grandparents while I tended to my ill spouse. It was one unconventional Thanksgiving. She didn’t want to eat anything and I searched for a restaurant that was open.

As you begin this festive time of year, I would encourage you to be flexible. Go with the flow. Kids and spouses get sick. Relatives will probably never act the way you’d expect. Travel will always have some headaches. When it’s all over, it may be the unconventional memories you will cherish anyway.

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Parenting Cartoons teaching webcomic

Why caring for kids can be so unpredictable

Cartoon of a boy and a crying baby
Cartoon of a boy to crying baby, “Wait! Stop! This isn’t part of the script.”

Some people shy away from kids because they just don’t follow a set script. They are so unpredictable! One minute they can be happy, the next, wailing like the world has come to an end.

It can rattle different types of people.

  • Planners can feel frustrated when a child sends their day off course
  • People who value power feel powerless, especially if they’re used to throwing that power around. Babies don’t care about your authority.
  • Manipulators can be stymied because a baby hasn’t learned to be manipulated (unfortunately, we all learn quickly how to be manipulated!)
  • Tired people just aren’t going to get much sympathy from a baby. Get help quickly!
  • Young people may not have the coping skills or maturity to handle such a situation

It can  lead to tragedy if someone doesn’t handle the unpredictability appropriately. It breaks my heart and makes me angry when you hear a story about an innocent child that has experienced shaken baby syndrome.

If you are a tired parent or caregiver, get some help. We all need our rest. If you don’t know anyone, reach out to your local church. They value you and your child.

In the end, it is worth it. Children will not always be crying. There will be good days along with the bad. The unpredictability of a crying child goes hand in hand with the thrill of rediscovering the world through innocent eyes. The spontaneous crying goes with the unpredictable hugs. You will learn as much as you teach. You will laugh as well as cry with them. In the end, it is all worth it!

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The secret behind great parenting

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Cartoon of an annoyed boy next to a sleeping mom. The boy says, “Hey! It’s four in the morning. Why aren’t I the center of your universe?”

Whenever you become a parent, you want to do everything you can to make sure that precious child will have a great life. You start to think about college. You may have a baseball mitt already picked out. You may even start dreaming about what a great boy or girl that child will be.

Of course, nobody can prepare you for the challenges. Maybe the baby has colic for the first few months. Perhaps you had no idea how much time it would take to take care of this little one. But you pull through and continue to think of your child’s future even when they’re driving you crazy. Everyone wants to see their child succeed, right?

There is one secret to parenting that will help your child succeed, even thrive in the world and it isn’t about make him or her the center of your universe!

“Wait a minute!” you may ask. “What about my child’s self esteem?”

I’ve got news for you. Making your child the center of the universe will only cause her to be disappointed when she gets into the real world. Either he will find out he wasn’t as special as he though and begin a downward slide, or he will push back against the world and end up becoming a jerk and a bully.

Now you shouldn’t make your child feel horrible either. Beating anybody with words or deeds doesn’t make them better. It only makes them resentful, bitter and a bully.

The secret is to teach our kids to love others as they love themselves. You can’t do that by making them feel they are better or worse than anyone else.  You do that by showing love and respect to others as well as themselves. You do that by teaching them to respect and obey you, even while they learn to respect themselves and others.

If you teach your kids they are special… but so are the other seven billion people on this planet, then they can have a hope and a future.