Categories
motivation

Great Things Through Patience and Forgiveness

The other day, I listened to a poscast on baseball great, Buster Posey. When it comes to sports, I’m a very casual observer. But his story on about great things through patience and forgiveness inspired me.

https://colsoncenter.libsyn.com/posey-retires

To many outside observers, it doesn’t make sense that a man at the height of his baseball career decides it is time to focus on family. He turned down millions of dollars in order to do so. And what is he choosing to do instead?

In his retirement speech, Posey mentioned that last year, he had to learn patience and forgiveness as he spent more time with his family. He and his wife have two sets of twins to care for. I find it admirable that he has chosen to take his role as a father seriously. It will take him much patience and forgiveness to live out his daily role as a father.

Sports and careers will come and go. But our investment in our families will last well after coworkers and fans forget us. It takes patience, forgiveness, and a healthy dose of humility to accept such a role. But Buster Posey appears to be a man that is willingly taking on such a role that will bring on greater things.

Categories
family

Thoughts on a Marriage

"Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife." Franz Schubert

“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.”

Franz Schubert via BrainyQuote.com

On this day, thirty-three years ago, I was in an Ohio church, watching the most beautiful bride walk down the aisle. It was a warm, clear day for December and the church was decorated for Christmas. It was a fantastic start to our marriage.

Since then, we have gone through many challenges and experienced numerous blessings. Through it all, we have remained committed to each other. One of those challenges occurred in 2001 when I was laid off from a publishing company.

I was working a contract job as a graphic designer and we just celebrated our thirteenth anniversary. A coworker asked me what our secret was to a happy marriage. Without much thought, I blurted, “mutual submission.” I could tell that took her by surprise. She didn’t want to hear that. But twenty years later, I still hold it to be true.

Now some would say that isn’t a “biblical marriage.” They would tell me the scriptures say it is the wife should submit to the husband. After all, Ephesians 5:22–24 says that. And while I agree, I assert you can’t have Ephesians 5:22–24 without verses 25–33. That section instructs the husband is to do love with the greatest care. It requires both parties to a high level of love and respect.

Leadership in a marriage requires love, respect, care and consideration. It requires the kind of love Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians 13. That requires a submission that is counter-intuitive to any selfish, narcissistic perspective.

So yes, I still say today, a happy marriage requires each one to yield, acquiesce and be considerate of the other. All I can say is it has worked for me, and I am so glad it has!

Categories
motivation

Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

Some people thrive on conflict while others cower at the thought of it. We all face it one way or another throughout our day. The media and social media thrives on it. It feels like conflict resolution is out of vogue these days.

How do we diffuse conflict? Should we just accept it as a fact of life now? Is it the cost of living in a polarized world? A quote by Wayne Dyer reminds me of our part in conflict resolution.

“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.”

Wayne Dyer via BrainyQuote.com

We don’t have to participate in disagreements if we don’t want to. While it’s true our egos can get the best of us, we have a choice each day whether to participate in all the animosity and consternation. It really is up to us.

The other day, I was working with someone who was in quite a sour mood. When I spoke about an issue, I got a grumpy response. Now, I don’t always rise to the occasion. But in this instance, I resolved not to participate. I kept my voice low and the matter didn’t escalate. The conflict didn’t survive. While it doesn’t make for a great story, it did make for a better day.

Stories thrive on conflict. The hero faces a problem, rises to the occasion, and conquers it. Conflict makes a great movie or a book thrilling. But in our everyday lives, we don’t have to make every situation one filled with conflict. While there are principles that we should protect, not every situation is a conflict we have to conquer.

Therefore, we need to choose our battles. We can consider if the conflict we are facing is worth our participation in or not. Sometimes, conflict resolution is as simple as refusing to participate in it.

Categories
discipline motivation

Self-Discipline is Hard!

Self-discipline is hard

I won’t lie to you. self-discipline is hard! It is especially tough when you are starting out and haven’t established a habit yet. Just why is it so difficult?

I am one of those guys that like to run. I’ve developed the habit for over twenty years, so I do have to remember when it was a challenge in the beginning. Still, when it gets cold and the wind is relentless, I don’t want to get out there either.

The other day, I had to bundle up to get out the door. It was Thanksgiving morning. I could have stayed in bed. My wife commented how crazy it was to get out there. I couldn’t argue with her. After all, in the short term, it didn’t make any sense to face the discomfort and go run.

In the short term, self-discipline makes no sense. But this verse has motivated me more than once over the years.

“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”

Hebrews 12:11 (NLT) via BibleGateway.com

Self-discipline is hard because we are drawn to comfort. Everything in the media caters to our belief that we shouldn’t have to do anything that isn’t fun and self-indulgent. Therefore, most of us look to the short-term pain and can’t see beyond the long-term harvest.

It seems like self-discipline is nothing but grief and pain when we are starting out. After all, any change we make faces resistance. However, I am here to tell you that if we hold out and do the hard work, we can reap a harvest in the long term. If you are starting a new self-discipline habit, Hold on! It is worth it!

Categories
writing

What About You, Quiet Guy?

"What About You, Quiet Guy?"

I have no problem admitting it. I’m one of the quiet guys. I wouldn’t call myself, the strong silent type, but I can definitely be the silent, observant one.

The other night, my wife and I were out with friends. We were having a good time cutting up and catching up on the lives of kids and grandkids. The waitress came over to get our orders. When it was my turn, she said, “And what about you, Quiet Guy?”

I thought that was quite amusing, yet it took me by surprise. It’s not that I didn’t think the moniker fit. Anyone who has known me can confirm that I’m rarely the boisterous one in a group. Well, that is until I get in front of a group and I can command attention! I love being the loud one when I teach or act. It’s partly because it takes anyone who knows me by surprise.

What surprised me was that she knew that trait about me after a very short time. Plus, I thought I was far from quiet. I was involved in my friends’ conversations and I was participating. However, to an outside observer, I was the quiet one in the group.

Quiet Kid

There was a time when that would have bothered me. I wanted to be the class clown. But I didn’t have the courage and I would have been mortified if it got back to my parents that I disrupted a class. It was much safer to live vicariously through the true class clown.

So instead of being known as the loud student, I was the kid who doodled on the back of assignments and stared out the window. I was the kid that tried to absorb the details of a story and think about what would happen if one detail was different.

Eventually, that led me to be the class cartoonist. I loved seeing my work in print. I noticed that while the class clown got sent to the office, teachers and professors considered the class cartoonist a journalist. What? You could make a living at this?

I have made a good living at it over the years. But for the last several years, I ventured more into writing and less into illustrations and cartoons.

The Quiet Guy

I have plenty to say, but that doesn’t mean I want to be the talker. I like to let my fingers do the talking. And frankly, it’s more fun to get my ideas out on a page and massage them a bit. It is too easy to say something that I may regret later. A flippant comment can wound. Plus, I can edit my written text to say what I want it to. There is value in thinking and considering what I want to say before it goes out to the world.

Maybe I am not always the most talkative guy in the room, but that doesn’t mean I have little to say. Today, I am thanking a waitress for reminding me of the value of the spoken and written word.