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motivation

The Benefits of Feeling Nervous

“Nerves are the body’s response to opportunity.”

Ken Coleman

Are you nervous? Are you out on a limb and wondering if you did the right thing? Are friends and loved ones trying to talk you out of it? Then it may be a good sign you are staring at opportunity.

It takes audacity to embrace an opportunity. If the dream is big enough, you are naturally going to feel nervous. You’ll feel a little adrenaline rush as you take the plunge.

Cartoon of a girl scolding a kitten. She says, "Come down from there! Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

It’s okay to feel nervous as you go out on a limb. You may find on the other end of the opportunity that it was the best decision you ever made.

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motivation

Emphasize the Good

When criticism is minimized and praise emphasized, the good things people do will be reinforced and the poorer things will atrophy for lack of attention.

Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends and Influence People

Why is it so easy to see the speck in another person’s eye and ignore the log in our own? We like to pick apart those that are close to us and ignore the self-improvement we could make and have the control to do.

I am the oldest of four kids. Unfortunately, that meant I was really good at seeing the faults in my siblings since I had at least a two-year head start on them. I’d say none of them benefited from my years of “constructive criticism.” They are wonderful, healthy adults today in spite of my influence rather than because of it.

Criticism is too easy. It lets us off the hook of our own self-improvement and focuses on the improvement of others. Sure, employees need to be accountable to bosses and managers. But look for ways to do it that inspire good behavior rather than place an undue emphasis on the bad.

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motivation

I Had One Job!

Looking back, it seemed such an easy job. All I had to do was complete my homework and turn it in. I had no other obligations. I didn’t have a job, nor did I have a side hustle. After all, I was in third grade.

I had plenty of motivation. I am a firstborn son and very self-conscious. I yearn to do the right thing and do it well. I feared my third-grade teacher because she was a yeller. I didn’t want to get on her bad side. Yet, somehow I forgot to do my homework that day. I had one job and I didn’t do it. I remember the yelling. I had to stay in the class at recess time. What was I thinking?

Cartoon of a boy and a teacher. The boy says, "That was due today? Seriously? I need help.Where can I get some homework insurance?"

Now I know why I didn’t do my homework. I reasoned there was nothing I could do to please my teacher. In fact, I was sure she expected me to mess up. So I delivered and didn’t disappoint her.

Frequently, I’ve heard the phrase, you had one job… as a joke. A seemingly simple job can be messed up. It may appear to others that a person had only one task to do, while it may have been one in a dozen that day. What seems obvious in hindsight may not have been so when the work was done. If a supervisor expects a direct-report to mess up, they frequently don’t disappoint.

I had one job in third-grade and I didn’t do it that day. I learned my lesson and got my homework completed after that. However, it took years for me to see myself as a good student and to do the work because I wanted to, not because I feared some wrath. I was motivated by fear, not by the enjoyment of learning something new.

Expect the best in people today. Sure, they may disappoint and there may be times when we wonder what they were thinking. But it is better to expect the best and get disappointed once in a while than expect the worst and get it every time.

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motivation

No Victim of Circumstance!

The new year and decade is almost upon us! I am thinking of new goals and plans for the coming year. There will be a lot going on, including a wedding for my daughter, a new career for my wife, and a new book or two from my pen/word processor (hold me to this one!)

The other day, I read a great article by Melissa Chu entitled, 8 ways you’re making life harder than it has to be. It had some great nuggets of wisdom. I encourage you to read all eight. One that stuck out to me was the last one; pouring your energy into something outside of your control. Chu wrote,

When you wait for someone to choose you, or for a chance event to transform your life, you’re essentially pouring your energy into unproductive emotions and thoughts.

Melissa Chu

I’ve done this to myself several times. So often, I’ve heard a great sermon and what do I do? I think of someone else that needs to change instead of considering what I need to do. There have been times in my life when I have been down and expected someone to come to my rescue or something that would happen to change everything. the problem with that attitude is I start sounding like Curly from the Three Stooges.

I’m a victim of circumstance… not!

Chu’s article is a good reminder for me that I need to focus on my Internal Locus of Control instead of the External Locus of Control. I can’t control others, nor should I. Who am I to control another person?

This coming year, I’ll pray for others instead of trying to control them. And I’ll focus on the things I can control, like my attitude, my decisions, and my resolve to learn and grow.

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motivation

Hiding in the Balcony

The first time I saw a balcony, I was enamored. I was about seven. We were seeing a kids’ movie in an old theater. I thought of how cool it would be to be above everyone else and see not only the movie but what was going on in the audience. 

I figured you didn’t have to behave yourself up there. If the movie was boring, you could chat with your friends. You could even run between the seats… as long as you were quiet. I saw the balcony as a place with freedom and without commitment. I could be anonymous.

Cartoon: Roosting in the balcony

I now know that freedom comes with a price. If I have no commitment to what is going on in front of me,

  • I miss out
  • My attention is divided
  • I do not affect the outcome
  • That’s where the critters hang out

I can’t be a leader from the balcony. I am not really a participant. I have found it to be more fulfilling and I have a better time when I am in the front row. The balcony offers freedom. The front row is where life change happens.