Tag: emotions

Categories
motivation

Add a Smile to Your Day

Cartoon of a pastor with a disgruntled couple. The wife says, "He can't express his feelings. he even uses emojis incorrectly!"

Have you been down in the dumps lately? We all go through those times, don’t we? We face challenges in our personal and professional lives. There is no shortage of bad news. Yet, there are some simple acts we can do to improve our outlook, even when things are looking a little glum. We can add a smile.

This article from CNBC claims that research proves if you’re feeling down, forcing a smile will eventually help you feel better.

“A ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ approach could have more credit than we expect.”

Fernando Marmolejo-Ramos: Study Author in the CNBC article

There will be times when this isn’t appropriate like I mentioned in a previous post. After all, when you have to deal with some heavy stuff, a smile may just feel out of place.

Still, we have more control over our emotions than we allow ourselves to believe. There is a reason good customer service includes a smile. It helps a person look approachable and shows that he or she is ready to help you.

So even if you don’t feel like it today, put on a smile and see what happens. You might even want to tap into your inner smiley-face-emoji.

Cartoon of a pastor with a disgruntled couple. The wife says, "He can't express his feelings. he even uses emojis incorrectly!"
Categories
motivation

Stuffers and Gushers

Cartoon of a girl and a boy with a bottle for a head. The girl says, "Why do you bottle-up your emotions like that?"

When I drew this cartoon several years ago, I knew whether I was a stuffer or a gusher. It is a reminder to me there is a downside to always being positive, even when we suffer hardship.

What are stuffers and gushers?

  • A stuffer doesn’t express their emotions
    • They may think it isn’t socially acceptable
    • She may be embarrassed by their emotions
    • He may have been punished for being angry or having a fit
    • It may even be part of their personality
    • So they stuff emotions until they can’t hold it in anymore
  • Gushers freely express themselves
    • He may easily cry
    • She may be expressive and love to act out
    • They may have been encouraged in the past to let it all out
    • So they let everyone know how they are feeling

I admire gushers. However, I admit to being a stuffer. Frequently, stuffers marry gushers. I have and it’s been a good thing for me. Because of this, my wife has been there when I’ve had a hard time expressing emotions. Therefore, I have rarely had to play the guessing game of What-is-she-thinking-this-time? She could very well have uttered the phrase the girl in my cartoon says.

Most of my blog posts have a positive tone to them. But I realize not every situation calls for positivity. There are times when denying our emotions can be harmful.

Therefore, we need to acknowledge our emotions. Not all of our days are going to be sunny with roses and unicorns. We need to balance our reality with positivity. Yes, we’re going to have challenging times. There is a time and place for everything.

“For everything, there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven…

A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance…

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4–5 (NLT)

In conclusion, we need to acknowledge and express our emotions when it’s appropriate. It will keep us from stuffing it until we have to let our emotions out in inopportune times. It can also help us stay positive while acknowledging the reality of our circumstances.

Cartoon of a girl and a boy with a bottle for a head. The girl says, "Why do you bottle-up your emotions like that?"
Categories
pet cartoons

How are the pets faring while we stay at home?

Cartoon of an annoyed cat and a dog
Copyright © Kevin Spear

It seems every other news article is about how pets are reacting while we work from home.

It seems Buzzfeed has a post every other day about annoyed pets during the quarantine. And perhaps all our furry companions can’t wait until we return to the workplace.

But perhaps pets are more resilient than we think. Do we implant on them emotions they are not really feeling? If we assume our cat would be annoyed we are home, do we interpret every action they do as a testament to their annoyance?

When I drew this illustration, my daughter brought home a new puppy. We assumed our cat would go ballistic. He didn’t. He tolerated the new pooch fairly well. I was both relieved and disappointed. I was relieved that the pets got along while disappointed I wouldn’t have an epic struggle to write about. That is one of the curses of a writer. We don’t want conflict, but we know it provides great fodder for our writing.

Pets will get through this just as we will. It will take some time and adjustment. Maybe they will face separation anxiety… or maybe we will. But either way, we will adjust. In the meantime, maybe it’s best to give your cat some space and have his naptime.

Cartoon of an annoyed cat and a dog
Copyright © 2007 Kevin Spear
Categories
motivation

The Benefits of Feeling Nervous

Cartoon of a girl scolding a kitten. She says, "Come down from there! Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

“Nerves are the body’s response to opportunity.”

Ken Coleman

Are you nervous? Are you out on a limb and wondering if you did the right thing? Are friends and loved ones trying to talk you out of it? Then it may be a good sign you are staring at opportunity.

It takes audacity to embrace an opportunity. If the dream is big enough, you are naturally going to feel nervous. You’ll feel a little adrenaline rush as you take the plunge.

Cartoon of a girl scolding a kitten. She says, "Come down from there! Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

It’s okay to feel nervous as you go out on a limb. You may find on the other end of the opportunity that it was the best decision you ever made.

Categories
motivation

Trusting in a Fool

Cartoon of a boy with a halo. a girl says, "I'm your sister. You can't fool me!"

I felt anxious the other day only to find out I was on my fifth cup of coffee. I felt despondent and sluggish the other day only to find out it was past my bedtime. I felt angry the other day when a sem-trailer cut me off on the freeway. Later, I realized I may have been in his blind spot and he had no idea I was back there. It reminded me I have blind spots every day.

It’s a good thing I can remember my emotions and insights are fickle.

Those who trust their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe.

Proverbs 28:26
Cartoon of a boy with a halo. a girl says, "I'm your sister. You can't fool me!"

Insights change along with emotions and our maturity.

  • I once thought I could grow up to be an astronaut, artist, and a paramedic all at once
  • I once thought my little sisters were annoying. Then we grew up and I discovered they were mature, young women with amazing talents and wisdom.
  • I used to think my parents could learn a thing or two from me until I got married and had kids of my own. It’s amazing how many people without kids are parenting experts until they have kids!

One of the most liberating conclusions I ever had was that I am a fool… and so are you! We all are if we are not careful.

  • We change
  • Our past experiences affect our future perceptions
  • Our emotions are fickle
    • Chronic negative emotions turn into bad attitudes that are unhelpful, even harmful.
  • We are affected by groupthink
  • We can be manipulated by the media, politicians, and anyone with charisma

So how do you get wisdom? Personally, I’ve found the book of Proverbs to be very helpful. If you are not a Bible reader, seek out books of wisdom or read biographies of people you admire and respect. See what has guided them. Seek out old adages, such as Ben Franklin’s adages.

Wisdom does not change with the times or our emotions. Certain bedrock truths like treating everyone the way you want to be treated and haste makes waste, will guide us when we feel like chucking it all in and acting like a selfish jerk.