The problem with improvement programs is that we really need assisted self-help. We need others to help us see our blind spots and improve. I drew this cartoon when I thought about this quandary. How do we get the help we need while still taking responsibility for our own actions?
It isn’t easy! It takes humility to admit we need help. If we could have solved the problem before, we would have done so by now. Yet, we need determination and commitment from ourselves to improve any situation.
This article from Psychology Today gives some effective ways to ask for help and get it. One of the key points is that when we’re asking for help, we also need to be willing to give it. When we’ve gone through difficult circumstances, we can be helpful to those who are still struggling with similar issues.
Self-Help Versus Selfishness
In other words, true self-help and selfishness do not go together. If our only aim in life is to eliminate all of our problems at the expense of others, it will only lead to an empty life.
The patient in my cartoon is expressing an immature, selfish attitude. While it’s true that he is paying for professional help, he is expecting the professional to just fix him. We do this all the time with medical and mental health professionals. And it is understandable. Every one of us would like a happy, happy, fulfilled life.
On the other hand, no matter what the patient does, if he is seeking just to be happy without learning to be a blessing to others, it’s never going to work. After all, he wants to take responsibility for his own actions, right?
As we go through life, we all need a little assisted self-help. We are not islands and we need each other. But let’s be sure we are also available to help others and not let our self-improvement come at the expense of hurting others.
Editor’s Note: I originally published this blog on October 6, 2015. I revamped and updated it for timeliness and comprehensiveness.
