Have you ever noticed that when someone is in a bad mood, they’re rarely interested in a dose of optimism?
My family was getting ready for a spring break trip. For whatever reason, my wife was having a bad day. It’s entirely possible I wasn’t doing my share of the preparation. It could be that the kids were tired and grumpy. For whatever reason, she seemed to be down and I decided it was my duty to cheer her up.
- I tried silly jokes
- I tried making humorous observations about the crazy drivers
- I tried countering every negative comment with some wisecrack
- I tried counting our blessings
- I even tried making a silly face and getting right up to hers
The last one was a big mistake. Even though we were married, I voided her personal space. There’s only so much my poor wife could take. I went from being a purveyor of good, clean fun to just being obnoxious and annoying. She snapped. I realized my mistake and began to pout.
Minutes later, I noticed something. She was in a much better mood and I was the one in the dumps. My efforts worked, just not in the way I expected. She poured the glass of optimism all over me and she felt much better.
So how do you stay optimistic in a world that isn’t having any of it? I learned three lessons that day.
- It is unwise to base your feelings on the emotions of someone else, even those closest to you
- Being annoyingly optimistic and obnoxious about it can only irritate others
- When someone closest to you is down, it’s sometimes best to give them the space to feel their emotions
We ended up having a great trip. I learned a valuable lesson about relationships. And yes, we both have learned a lot about optimism over the years.
