Tag: family

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family

Vacations: Annoyances and True Tragedies

Cartoon about two teen girls and vacation

Vacations usually take some amount of planning. But this year has caused plans to be taken to a whole new level. Before this year, health considerations were not at the front of everyone’s checklist. Now, everyone must consider the following:

  • Is the destination in a hot spot?
  • Will it be in a crowded area?
  • What does the state government say about quarantining when you return?
  • What’s the local mask policy?
  • Should we just chuck it all and binge watch some more cat videos?

The Book of Job and Vacations

When I first posted this cartoon, the biggest problems with vacations centered around teen angst and whether there was enough wifi for everyone. Now we are more concerned about the supply of hand sanitizer and masks.

The Book of Job reminds me that things could always be worse. Yes, we are in the middle of a global pandemic. If it hasn’t directly affected you yet, give thanks for that. If your teens are merely annoying you and are healthy and sassy, give thanks for that.

Just this week, I received word that a friend was in an auto accident and his teen daughter was killed. I can’t comprehend the pain and loss that this dear man is feeling. Suddenly, the decision about whether to wear a mask in public or determine how much distance is enough social distancing feels trivial.

There are people suffering much worse. If all we have today are a few annoyances, give thanks for it.

Cartoon about two teen girls and vacation
Categories
family motivation Teen Cartoons

Working With Your Teen During a Pandemic

cartoon of a mom and a young person in a messy room. The mom says, "I know why you're feeling down in the dumps. It's because your room looks like one."

This time is particularly tough for parents and teens. On one hand, teenagers are generally more self-directed and don’t need as much time as the younger kids. On the other hand, the teen years can already be a tumultuous, emotional time. When you add the extra layer of school disruption and little chance of teens seeing their friends during a lockdown, the emotions can run high. Odds are, if they are getting on your nerves, you are also getting on theirs!

There are some things you can do to help each other and your relationship during this time.

  • Acknowledge that this is difficult for them as well as you.
    • They are thinking about their future, and what it will look like to be an adult in a few years.
    • The teen years are already a time of extreme emotions and this isn’t helping!
    • They have tough decisions about testing, college, and graduation.
    • They know this is uncharted waters for everyone, including their peers and those they look up to.
  • Give them the opportunity to talk about this with you, with others, or another trusted adult.
    • If they don’t have the contact information, reach out to a friend, family member, counselor, or spiritual leader and help them talk through their feelings.
  • Allow them to have some self-expression, even if it means their room looks like the local landfill.
  • Be humble enough to admit with them you don’t have all the answers, but you will work with them and help them as the months roll on. Let them know they are not alone in figuring this out.

It is an unprecedented time. But in each challenge, there are also opportunities. There are opportunities for growth and opportunities to make your family bond stronger. Through all of this, acknowledge your emotions while striving to look up. We will get through this!

cartoon of a mom and a young person in a messy room. The mom says, "I know why you're feeling down in the dumps. It's because your room looks like one."
Categories
Attitude motivation

How Do You Stay Optimistic in a Pessimist’s World?

Cartoon of an angry girl and a drenched boy

Have you ever noticed that when someone is in a bad mood, they’re rarely interested in a dose of optimism?

My family was getting ready for a spring break trip. For whatever reason, my wife was having a bad day. It’s entirely possible I wasn’t doing my share of the preparation. It could be that the kids were tired and grumpy. For whatever reason, she seemed to be down and I decided it was my duty to cheer her up.

  • I tried silly jokes
  • I tried making humorous observations about the crazy drivers
  • I tried countering every negative comment with some wisecrack
  • I tried counting our blessings
  • I even tried making a silly face and getting right up to hers

The last one was a big mistake. Even though we were married, I voided her personal space. There’s only so much my poor wife could take. I went from being a purveyor of good, clean fun to just being obnoxious and annoying. She snapped. I realized my mistake and began to pout.

Minutes later, I noticed something. She was in a much better mood and I was the one in the dumps. My efforts worked, just not in the way I expected. She poured the glass of optimism all over me and she felt much better.

So how do you stay optimistic in a world that isn’t having any of it? I learned three lessons that day.

  • It is unwise to base your feelings on the emotions of someone else, even those closest to you
  • Being annoyingly optimistic and obnoxious about it can only irritate others
  • When someone closest to you is down, it’s sometimes best to give them the space to feel their emotions

We ended up having a great trip. I learned a valuable lesson about relationships. And yes, we both have learned a lot about optimism over the years.

Cartoon of an angry girl and a drenched boy
Categories
family

All the Sordid Details

Cartoon of a boy with a laptop. He says to his mom, "I'm writing a blog. Does your family or Dad's have all the sordid details?"

I had the privilege to ride with my father for the previous two days. We talked about various things from politics, to crazy drivers, to advice about finishing life’s race well.

No, there we didn’t discuss sordid details. Oh, and I know there are unsavory stories from the past, but we didn’t discuss them. Every family has skeletons in the closet. If you are interested in genealogy at all, you’ll soon find them.

One of the many lessons I’ve learned from my parents over the years is to stay positive. Whenever I would get down, my mother was there to say, “Keep looking up!” Whenever I would say something unkind, she would recite, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.“ You can’t do too much mudslinging, insulting and roasting with that reminder.

So that’s why I take the opposite approach to the boy in my cartoon. I’ve had two great examples that have reminded me there is a much more excellent way to speak than to air someone’s dirty laundry.

Cartoon of a boy at a computer. He says to his mom, "I'm writing a blog. Does your family or Dad's have the most sordid details?"
Categories
Sermon Notes Sketch notes

Sermon Notes: “Necessary Endings Lead to New Beginnings”

Sermon sketch notes "Necessary Endings Lead to New Beginnings."
Sermon Notes on "Necessary Endings Lead to New Beginnings. Sermon Copyright 2019 Paula Spear

Over the years, I’ve written and drawn dozens of sermon notes. One of my regrets is that I didn’t create any of my grandfather’s sermons when he was active. I had not developed the skill by the time he retied. But one of my thrills was to do it today of my wife’s debut.

As recently as last year, if you asked her if she would speak before a crowd beyond presenting the kids during a special or giving the announcements, she would have politely declined. But as she has grown deeper through spiritual disciplines, something has changed within her.

Here is a copy of my notes. They are two pages since she spoke both hours. It’s interesting to me to see what I got out of one hour versus another when you hear a speaker more than once.

Sermon sketch notes "Necessary Endings Lead to New Beginnings."
Sermon Notes on “Necessary Endings Lead to New Beginnings. Sermon Copyright 2019 Paula Spear

Her topic reflected that. She has learned the value of being still as opposed to being busy, busy, busy! It has caused her to reevaluate what her calling is in this stage of her life.

I love how she has grown and continues to grow in this stage of her life. Whether you are new in your career or have been in the workplace for decades, we all need to grow. We all need to change and experience new beginnings. But as she has learned, it takes the courage to end some things.

Part of her journey has come from a book she quoted in her sermon. We recommend it. It is Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud.

I am proud of my wife because she is leaving her role at our church under great circumstances. She didn’t wait until she developed a bad attitude, or when her work began to suffer. She left under great circumstances and with a staff in place that will continue to make great strides in the children’s ministry. Now we shall see what the new beginning will be in the coming weeks.