Each day, we have an opportunity to bring order from chaotic circumstances. If you leave things as is, chaos soon becomes the norm.
- A city street eventually becomes filled with potholes and debris.
- Buildings breaks down over time and needs repair
- Unopened email soon explodes into thousands of unread bits and bytes
- A pile of unraked leaves kills the grass underneath
- An unscooped litterbox causes the cat to do the unthinkable behind the bed
- The pile of dirty dishes becomes a calcified mass of gunk
Some of us can deal with a little more chaos than others. But most of us can agree that all chaos, all the time is stressful and unproductive. There is something in all of us that wants to understand, categorize and order things.
We value systems that bring order. Language is a system that allows us to communicate. The written form of that language has a slightly different system. We like to turn on the TV and reliably get a channel that we like. It would be very disconcerting if everyone you knew began speaking differently or writing in some unknown code. If your favorite channel was on one number one day, and another the next, it would get frustrating.
We like systems. We like to categorize people and things. And we like to believe that everything that is good and bad can be understood. And if an answer doesn’t come easily, we like to manufacture a reason. We assume we know the motives of someone we don’t even know. We continually tell ourselves stories about people and actions out of our control.
As a result, I can assume the best about someone or the worst. I can make assumptions based on the stories I tell myself that may be correct or way off. It’s my little attempt to bring order out of chaos. But are those stories helpful if they assume the worst?
Our stories can assume the best or the worst in people and events. Sometimes, we need to realize our stories are just that—stories. We can assume the best or the worst. Both carried to the extreme can lead you astray. The challenge is to assume the best in others while keeping oneself from denying when something needs to change.
How does one bring order out of chaos in an accurate, realistic way even when we don’t have all the facts? Are the stories we tell ourselves accurate? That is the question I am pondering today.