This sage advice could keep us out of so much trouble. How many times have we said something that we wished we could take back? There have been times when after an argument, I thought of a comeback that I wished I would have thought of at the moment. But a little later, I realized it would have only made things worse. A quick retort can feel good at the moment. But yes, it can cut like a knife.
In a world where we are bombarded with images, we can get caught up in message fatigue. Not only does the quality of our words matter, but the quantity too. Do our words bring destruction, healing, or just add to all the noise? Are we saying too many words, while not really saying anything? Can that flippant comment come back to haunt us years later?
Our words can bring destruction or healing. They can make things better or worse. And today, words can last on social media long after they have been uttered. Let’s all take a pause and think about what we say before we let them leave our lips or keyboards. Let’s all choose wise words.
This morning, I was reading about Jacob and Esau. It is a great story on the perils of making rash decisions. Esau was a guy who sold his birthright because he was hungry. He then married two women who were conveniently nearby. Then when Jacob deceives him a second time, Esau is ready for murder. It’s a lot of rash decisions in three chapters of Genesis.
There are two types of decision makers. Some of us take the time to review all the facts, perspectives and and possibilities. Then there are those of us who go with the gut and what we feel in the moment. Neither approach is always the best way.
Information Overload!
If we tend to gather as much information as possible, we can be in trouble in a world of too much information. Thanks to the Internet, we can find far more stats, figures and opinions than ever before.
It can be equally challenging when some information contradicts another set of facts and figures. One problem of the Internet is that anyone can spew facts and figures without accountability. Is that little fact really correct? Where did it come from? How can we know it’s accurate or even true?
Heaven help us! It can paralyze us from making any decision.
Go With the Gut?
If we’re stuck with too much information, is making a rash decision the way to go? Our emotions are not always right. Esau gave away his future because he was hungry. Emotional decisions we make today may look like foolishness. Temptation is a lousy decision maker. Should we really eat that whole bag of chips right before bed? And why not stay up to watch that show we’ve been meaning to catch up on? We don’t really feel tired anyway.
The next thing we know, it’s five in the morning, we feel bloated and discouraged. That didn’t go the way we would have liked! But our gut said go for it, right?
We need a little healthy skepticism, even when our source of information confirms what we want to hear. There is a time to go with our guts, and a time to wait and see. The important decisions need to take time and fact-gathering. While the short-term decisions can have a little spontaneity. I think I’ll go get some breakfast. But I’ll do so in a way that won’t sell off my birthright!
Each day, we have an opportunity to bring order from chaotic circumstances. If you leave things as is, chaos soon becomes the norm.
A city street eventually becomes filled with potholes and debris.
Buildings breaks down over time and needs repair
Unopened email soon explodes into thousands of unread bits and bytes
A pile of unraked leaves kills the grass underneath
An unscooped litterbox causes the cat to do the unthinkable behind the bed
The pile of dirty dishes becomes a calcified mass of gunk
Some of us can deal with a little more chaos than others. But most of us can agree that all chaos, all the time is stressful and unproductive. There is something in all of us that wants to understand, categorize and order things.
We value systems that bring order. Language is a system that allows us to communicate. The written form of that language has a slightly different system. We like to turn on the TV and reliably get a channel that we like. It would be very disconcerting if everyone you knew began speaking differently or writing in some unknown code. If your favorite channel was on one number one day, and another the next, it would get frustrating.
We like systems. We like to categorize people and things. And we like to believe that everything that is good and bad can be understood. And if an answer doesn’t come easily, we like to manufacture a reason. We assume we know the motives of someone we don’t even know. We continually tell ourselves stories about people and actions out of our control.
As a result, I can assume the best about someone or the worst. I can make assumptions based on the stories I tell myself that may be correct or way off. It’s my little attempt to bring order out of chaos. But are those stories helpful if they assume the worst?
Our stories can assume the best or the worst in people and events. Sometimes, we need to realize our stories are just that—stories. We can assume the best or the worst. Both carried to the extreme can lead you astray. The challenge is to assume the best in others while keeping oneself from denying when something needs to change.
How does one bring order out of chaos in an accurate, realistic way even when we don’t have all the facts? Are the stories we tell ourselves accurate? That is the question I am pondering today.
Proverbs 11:22 paints a picture. It’s imagery we use today without thinking about the verse. Who would want to put a gold ring in a pig’s snout anyway? Would anybody waste a piece of jewelry on a hog?
A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.
When I drew this cartoon, I quoted the New International Reader’s Version. That translation uses “no sense.” Discretion adds quite a bit of meaning. It means to use good judgment and to speak in such a way as to not cause offense or reveal sensitive information.
We live in an age where discretion seems to be lacking.
Celebrities broadcast their dirty little secrets
Social media causes people to broadcast the most trivial parts of their private lives
Politicians weaponize words to make rival parties the enemy
Discretion’s challenge
Discretion calls all of us to use our better judgment. That can be difficult when we are rushed to make a quick comment or when we’re tempted to say something flippant.
However, it could keep many people out of trouble. How many times have you said something only to wish you could take it back? Yes, me too. Discretion can keep us from saying something that we will come to regret. It can help us keep our friendships and establish goodwill.
What if discretion came in vogue once again? What would that look like?
Celebrities could exchange TMI for respect
We could use social media to inspire and encourage others
Politicians could learn to compromise again and get something done
I know. It’s dreamy, pie-in-the-sky thinking. Still, the world would look and feel much better if more people used some discretion. At the very least, it could help a few more single people get some dates without a gold ring in the snout.
Like many of us, I have a bad case of FOMO: Fear of Missing Out. I like to be in the know. After all, if I am going to blog anything, I need to have information, right? If I am going to write about a business trend or positive philosophy, I need to be in the know, right?
Copyright Kevin Spear
My wife kids me when I get alerts for Twitter accounts I follow. I get breaking news alerts for the latest doom and gloom news. Occasionally, I need to put my phone on “Do Not Disturb” in order to break my train of thought. Even then, it is too easy for that thought train to derail and spill my brain granules all across the landscape.
In the pre Internet years, we had information gatekeepers in the form of editors and television producers. They sorted through all the junk for the public. Now, anybody with a phone can be an information provider. In one alert, I see news about a homicide, SWAT standoff or traffic travesty. The next moment, I get an alert about twenty surly kittens that will make you laugh your socks off. Even if I was doing nothing at the time, that is quite a whiplash of discordant information!
I know! Just the fact that I am writing a blog contributes to this tsunami. My goal is to contribute positively and be an encouragement in a negative world. Still, Here is one more town crier attempting to make his voice heard above the crowded field.
So here is for myself and for others that are feeling the same information wave overtake them.
Take a breath and relax. While there is always something going on in the world, I don’t have to be aware of everything. If it is important, I’ll hear about it sooner or later.
I don’t have to be the first one in my circle to hear breaking news. Let someone else have FOMO while I am getting things done.
I will be discerning in my information consumption. If I am getting down because of a series of bad news, I need to either get away from the news or find some good, uplifting stories.
FOMO and bad news can affect my productivity. I choose to have more than a Breaking News! perspective.
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