10 Myths About a Church Nursery

Nurseries are magical places. grandmotherly types get to rock babies and workers get to dole out Cheerios® and Goldfish® Crackers by the truckload. Yet, new volunteers still get intimidated by the church nursery. Fear not! For Behold! I give you 10 myths about a church nursery.

I first wrote this humorous list in a time before COVID. Since the pandemic, volunteering in nurseries has dropped off dramatically in churches across the United States. Yes, churches are still waiting for volunteers to come back.

Therefore, may this list offer some relief in the midst of a trying, volunteer recruiting time.

10 Myths About a Church Nursery

1. Just because an adult enters a nursery doesn’t automatically guarantee they will get the flu, a stomach virus, or just general case of the “ick” (That goes for that nasty illness I mentioned earlier too).
2. There is not, nor has there ever been a dirty diaper with your name on it.
3. You’re allowed to eat the snacks as long as you give them to the children first.
4. If you don’t know the lyrics to Jesus Loves Me, don’t sweat it. Everybody only knows the first verse any way.
5. It’s not true there are bio hazard suits for the really messy diapers. (sorry about that one).
6. When somebody calls a baby “a walker,” it does not mean the child has become a zombie.
7. You can leave once the parents come for their children. It’s not the Hotel California.
8. Yes, we admit those baby activity centers are fun to play with. It’s okay for the workers to play with them too.
9. Though diaper bags are large, mysterious containers full of magic, no child has ever gone missing in one of them.
10. When you have a baby smile at you, the whole hour is definitely worth it!

So tell us, nursery workers, what are your 10 myths about a church nursery you have discovered? And here’s to hoping we can all relax a little and get back to serving the needs of parents and children in a church!

Editor’s Note: I originally published this blog on October 6, 2015. I revamped and updated it for timeliness and comprehensiveness.