Mentoring is quite the buzzword these days. It seems everyone has a mentor and isn’t limited to an office setting. Since it is so pervasive today, we need to discern between good and bad mentoring.
This cartoon shows what happens when it turns into a bad excuse for a gopher role.
This quote by John C. Crosby is a good definition.
“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.”
John C. Crosby
The Bad Side
Yes, there are toxic mentors out there just as there are bad teachers. This article on TogetherPlatform.com illustrates the different types of mentors and what toxic mentoring looks like. Here are a few signs you have a toxic teacher.
- they are self-absorbed
- Doesn’t listen
- Believes they know it all
- Has no boundaries either in their lives or yours
- Attacks you or others
- Regularly gives bad advice
Bad confidants won’t help us no matter how successful they appear. One key sign is if they are successful in your field, but the rest of their life is a train wreck, run away! We are more than our career. If success comes at the expense of our families, health, and social connection, it is not real success.
Good Mentoring
When done right, a mentor learns just as much as a mentee. We learn so much seeing things through a new set of eyes. While a new employee can find out from a mentor how a business runs and how to be successful, an older manager can discover through new eyes what the business looks from the outside.
Such observations can lead to innovation. A new set of eyes may even save a company from becoming obsolete.
A great mentor is a servant leader. We must be willing to serve as much as delegate. While we may be tempted to unload all the undesirable jobs on an underling, a great mentorship is more of a two way street. We must consider how are we willing to serve in return for a mentee’s valuable service.
It is a little more than finding a gopher to go get you some coffee and doughnuts. It is an attempt to teach someone the lessons you wish someone taught you when you started out in business.
Here is my mentoring tip for you today: do what you love, and don’t be afraid to charge for it. By the way, I’ll take a cup of coffee too (But don’t worry. I’ll get it myself!).
Editor’s Note: I originally published this blog on October 6, 2015. I revamped and updated it for timeliness and comprehensiveness.
