Tag: relationships

Categories
motivation

Did I Make That Call Today?

©2013 Speartoons, Inc

Texting has revolutionized the way I communicate. If I suddenly have something I want to share with my wife or kids, I can send it immediately and not worry if they are busy. I can send a note of encouragement to a friend. I don’t have to dispense with the pleasantries of small talk before getting to the point. I can make the point and have an answer in a moment.

But the temptation is to make that the primary form of communication because it is so effortless. It’s easy to type a thought and send it. A lot can be lost in translation. It is difficult to make a true connection with a few words and no context. A text is an electronic sticky-note. Make sure when you are using it, it’s the appropriate way to communicate in that situation.

Sometimes it is just better to make the call. But it can feel awkward if I’m out of practice. It can feel too easy to hide behind a text. I’ve heard of couples breaking it up over a text. Really? It may be easier but it is not the way to deal with something so emotional.

Sometimes it is better to make the call or to visit someone in a person. If I have something important to say, I will make that call today.

Categories
motivation productivity

Working Hard or Hardly Working

I used to believe that hard work was the only thing that makes a person or business prosper. While I believe it is still key, I have observed that hard work is only part of the formula.

Hard work can only get a person so far if they are not kind and empathetic towards coworkers and clients. A person can do superior work, but nobody wants to do business with them because they are a bear to be around. Our emotional intelligence, or EQ, is as important as our IQ.

Hard work doesn’t mean much if a person is working hard at the wrong things. Anyone can work hard at digging a hole, but is the hole good for anything? Does it have a purpose? Is the action in line with the company’s goals?

Hard, good work is essential. It is the fuel that powers creation. It creates value. But hard work without vital relationships and purposeful focus is like the Myth of Sisyphus. A person can roll that boulder up a hill, only to see it roll down and repeat the action.

Categories
Christianity motivation

Continual Acts of Kindness

Cartoon of a man and a puppet

This morning, I get to teach kids about kindness. We’ve been talking this month about the Fruit of the Spirit, which is found in Galatians 5:22-23.

It’s a topic that was drilled into me at a very young age. I am the oldest of four kids and unfortunately, firstborn kids are not known for being the supreme leader of kindness. At least this kid wasn’t the king of kindness when his little brother or sister just just ate the last cookie.

I was fortunate that not only my patient parents emphasized kindness, but my kindergarten teacher did too. She had us recite Ephesians 4:32 every morning before we began our class in the old King James Version .

“Be he kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 KJV

It didn’t always stop the playground drama. Nor did it eliminate the urge to hoard all the good, unbroken crayons. But it did make me pause and think. It was one of those kindergarten lessons that come back to me even today.

My prayer this morning is that the kids I teach will remember today’s lesson when they are tempted to be rude or react angrily to to a perceived injustice. Let’s keep learning how to be kind, tender hearted and forgiving in a world desperate for all three qualities.

Categories
relationship cartoons

Real or Social Media Friends?

Cartoon of two women. One says, "Level with me, Doris. Are you my real or social media friend?
©2015 Kevin Spear-Cartoon 4029

We live in a world where we have social media friends, the we have close friends. Social media has allowed me to get in touch with people I may never meet face-to-face. My life is richer for those friendships. Yet, they cannot take the place of friendships within a community.

Continue reading “Real or Social Media Friends?”
Categories
Parenting Cartoons

12 Keys to helping your child deal with anger

Cartoon of a girl and a boy with a bottle for a head. The girl says, "Why do you bottle-up your emotions like that?"

Spear Cartoon 3775Temperament is something you see very early in a child. Some kids are laid back and go with the flow. Others seem born angry. Whether they are a Type A personality, or are easily frustrated, they need help in learning how to deal with anger.  Here are ten ways you can help your child with anger issues.

  1. Consider your child’s age. Helping a two-year old deal with anger is far different from helping your elementary child.
  2. A toddler may be overwhelmed and overstimulated. You may need to remove her from the situation.
  3. An elementary child may need to discuss his anger issues and need help finding constructive ways to vent.
  4. DO NOT ignore the situation. Pretending a child isn’t angry may only make her angrier
  5. DO NOT teach your child to deny (bottle-up) her feelings. Stuffing anger only causes it to come out in unproductive ways later.
  6. Look for triggers. Is there some situation that causes the child to become angry? Talk about it with your child.
  7. Acknowledge with your child anger is a normal reaction to something. We all face disappointments. We all face people who just seem to know how to get under our skin.
  8. If the anger is directed at a sibling, separate the two, then come back to mediate the situation. Allow each child to express their anger with words. Make sure the children talk about the offense and not about the other sibling’s personality or flaws.
  9. If the angry child causes destruction, use it as an opportunity to make amends. The child needs to know destructive anger has consequences.
  10. If a child destroys property, have them work to pay back the destroyed property.
  11. If a child hurts another person, take away privileges until they child feels remorse. A forced apology isn’t a real apology.
  12. When you feel angry about something, discuss it with your child. Let them know how you feel and how you are coping with it. Focus on your feelings and not on the offender.

Above all, if you’re angry over a child’s anger, that is not the time to correct his behavior. Give both of you some time to cool off before you correct him. Whether you’re a child or an adult, anger can cause you to make decisions you may later regret.

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