Category: Attitude

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Attitude Bible Proverbs

A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath

Background of a creek. Text is Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

It can be frustrating when things aren’t going your way. Someone isn’t meeting a deadline. That stupid supply chain is ruining your sales! Why can’t that kid do what I ask when I asked him? There are plenty of situations to get frustrated about.

Each time the frustration builds, we have an opportunity to make things better or worse. You can raise your voice and invoke fear to get things done, and it may work in the short-term. But what does that do in the long-term? Fear-based leadership is no leadership at all.

And what happens if it doesn’t make things happen, but the angry words just accelerate between you and the other party? Fear-based leadership become less effective when the other party is no longer afraid—even angrier than you. Then you end up with bigger problems.

There are plenty of reasons to get frustrated and lash out. But Proverbs 15:1 reminds me how we reply makes all the difference.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)

The last two years have been frustrating for everyone. There is no shortage of stories on people behaving badly because of frustrations. We don’t know what a person could be going through or what they’ve lost recently.

When tensions are high, we have an opportunity to make things better or worse by our reply. A soft answer could make all the difference in your day and mine!

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Attitude motivation

Courage and Mindset

Courage and Mindset: KevinSpear.com

Courage takes a positive mindset. Whoever said, “This is going to go badly. It inspires me to do more!” No, that kind of thinking inspires no one.

We get inspired by the story of the person who marches on against all odds. Is it because they’re the smartest or most talented? No, it’s because that person can envision a better outcome than everyone else. The odds may not be in their favor, but they move ahead with courage and faith.

Mindset matters! If you are certain the project will go badly, what’s the point? If you know there will be obstacles, but believe they can be overcome and there will be a payout, you are much more likely to do what is required to make that project a success.

Are you negative about something that must be done? Change your mindset! Look for ways that could make the project successful. Find a way through the obstacles. Look at the obstacles as challenges that can be overcome. You may be surprised to find the answer was there all along but a pessimistic mindset blinded you… until now!

Categories
Attitude motivation

A Glad Heart Makes a Big Difference

Illustration of a happy girl with a tea cup, sunflower hat, bathing suit and swim flippers

A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit. 

Proverbs 15:13 NLT

Today, it may be easy for you to think of something that makes you glad. If so, take the time to consider it and feel the smile on your face return. If nothing else, hanging around, creative, silly kids will help. It will make a big difference to yourself and those around you.

Or today, you may be going through a tough time. Depending on your situation, it may be good to remind yourself that there are aspects of your life that make you glad. It could be your family, friends or work that brings you satisfaction.

But if your heart is broken today, I realize none of this will help. It takes time for a broken heart to heal. Give yourself grace and time to mourn. You will get through this eventually. When you hold on, you will find reasons to make your heart glad once again.

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Attitude motivation

Does complaining do any good?

Cartoon of two women next to a wilted plant. One woman says, "It's a valuable plant. When I complain, it wilts."

When I drew this cartoon and posted my blog, Wilted Complaints, I was preaching to myself. Three years after this post, I got into a bad habit of complaining. I rendered myself ineffective at work because I let challenges overwhelm me. Instead of working on the problem, I would complain with colleagues about how insurmountable the odds were. Meetings weren’t effective. The planning seemed pointless. It was all because I was stuck in a complaining mode.

What about venting? Can I vent?

When tensions are high, or when we are in a situation alike a coronavirus lockdown, we all need to vent a little. If I don’t talk with my wife about what’s bugging me, it will simply build up.

The Web Economic Forum has an article on why it’s okay to vent about the coronavirus as long as it doesn’t become a habit. We are naturally going to be frustrated when things aren’t going the way we like. And very few people are excited about being in lockdown for several weeks (with the exceptions of some dogs and hermits).

The problem with a complaining habit is that it doesn’t solve anything.

  • It absolves me of responsibility
  • Instead of speaking life into a situation, it speaks death
  • It lets things fester like picking a scab
  • It doesn’t make for a pleasant companion (and who wants to isolate even further?)

I am starting to read a book entitled, The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal With Negativity at Work by Jon Gordon. I’ll let you know about the highlights. Complaining is a habit that is too easy to start. Let’s find ways to be positive today and keep our plants from wilting.

Cartoon of two women next to a wilted plant. One woman says, "It's a valuable plant. When I complain, it wilts."
Categories
Attitude motivation

How Do You Stay Optimistic in a Pessimist’s World?

Cartoon of an angry girl and a drenched boy

Have you ever noticed that when someone is in a bad mood, they’re rarely interested in a dose of optimism?

My family was getting ready for a spring break trip. For whatever reason, my wife was having a bad day. It’s entirely possible I wasn’t doing my share of the preparation. It could be that the kids were tired and grumpy. For whatever reason, she seemed to be down and I decided it was my duty to cheer her up.

  • I tried silly jokes
  • I tried making humorous observations about the crazy drivers
  • I tried countering every negative comment with some wisecrack
  • I tried counting our blessings
  • I even tried making a silly face and getting right up to hers

The last one was a big mistake. Even though we were married, I voided her personal space. There’s only so much my poor wife could take. I went from being a purveyor of good, clean fun to just being obnoxious and annoying. She snapped. I realized my mistake and began to pout.

Minutes later, I noticed something. She was in a much better mood and I was the one in the dumps. My efforts worked, just not in the way I expected. She poured the glass of optimism all over me and she felt much better.

So how do you stay optimistic in a world that isn’t having any of it? I learned three lessons that day.

  • It is unwise to base your feelings on the emotions of someone else, even those closest to you
  • Being annoyingly optimistic and obnoxious about it can only irritate others
  • When someone closest to you is down, it’s sometimes best to give them the space to feel their emotions

We ended up having a great trip. I learned a valuable lesson about relationships. And yes, we both have learned a lot about optimism over the years.

Cartoon of an angry girl and a drenched boy