“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.”
Franz Schubert via BrainyQuote.com
On this day, thirty-three years ago, I was in an Ohio church, watching the most beautiful bride walk down the aisle. It was a warm, clear day for December and the church was decorated for Christmas. It was a fantastic start to our marriage.
Since then, we have gone through many challenges and experienced numerous blessings. Through it all, we have remained committed to each other. One of those challenges occurred in 2001 when I was laid off from a publishing company.
I was working a contract job as a graphic designer and we just celebrated our thirteenth anniversary. A coworker asked me what our secret was to a happy marriage. Without much thought, I blurted, “mutual submission.” I could tell that took her by surprise. She didn’t want to hear that. But twenty years later, I still hold it to be true.
Now some would say that isn’t a “biblical marriage.” They would tell me the scriptures say it is the wife should submit to the husband. After all, Ephesians 5:22–24 says that. And while I agree, I assert you can’t have Ephesians 5:22–24 without verses 25–33. That section instructs the husband is to do love with the greatest care. It requires both parties to a high level of love and respect.
Leadership in a marriage requires love, respect, care and consideration. It requires the kind of love Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians 13. That requires a submission that is counter-intuitive to any selfish, narcissistic perspective.
So yes, I still say today, a happy marriage requires each one to yield, acquiesce and be considerate of the other. All I can say is it has worked for me, and I am so glad it has!