Tag: parenting

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Legacies and Households of Faith

I had the pleasure of writing about two pastors with a legacy of faith at CHOGNews: Household of Faith: Pastors Cherish a Long Legacy in the Church of God

Household of Faith: Pastors Cherish a Long Legacy in the Church of God

Similarities

Both pastors had compelling stories on how their legacies affected their call to ministry.

Both pastors emphasized while their family lineage was something to cherish, neither was called just because it was the family business. In fact, they may have hesitated because they didn’t want to enter ministry simply because it was expected of them.

Different Paths

But each traveled on different journeys. to get there.

One pastor ran from his calling and lived a life far from God until he was called back to faith and ministry. It’s a compelling story of redemption. He has been near death twice. He has a testimony that maintains nobody is too far gone to be saved.

The other pastor felt the call after he had been out in the workforce for three years. His career was flourishing, but he found the call to ministry irresistible. He has benefited from the mentorship of his father and is passing that legacy to the next generation.

Families of Origin

I resonated with their stories because, though I haven’t been called to pastor a church, my grandfather was a pastor. I felt similar pressure to perhaps go into ministry because of my legacy. Now mind you, nobody placed that pressure on me but myself. Still, I felt it and didn’t want to succumb to it just because it was part of my ancestry.

At the same time, the legacy of my parents, grandparents, and preceding generations had a profound impact on my life and the lives of my children. While only my maternal grandfather was a pastor, all faithfully lived their lives in powerful ways.

Legacies are important facets of our lives. They don’t totally define us, but they are a part of us. Some of us have great legacies that can be cherished. Others are working through baggage brought on by our family history. Every family has some skeletons in their closet—even good families.

We are not ultimately defined by our past, though it is part of our definition. We can embrace the good aspects of our family of origin and learn from the less than the pristine side of our family of origin.

Today, we have an opportunity to affect our future generations. If we are called, we can answer that call. If we need to address the sins of the past, let’s do it and give the following generations a good start. It reminds me of a song by Steve Green, May all who come behind us find us faithful.

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motivation

Driving and Prayer

Cartoon of father and son in car

My wife and I have just finished a drive across the country. We saw plenty of speeders and aggressive drivers. It was enough to make you utter a prayer of thanks when we arrived in our driveway.

We take a lot of factors for granted when we hit the highway.

  • We depend on the vehicle we are driving
  • We rely on a highway in good repair
  • We hope and pray the other drivers are competent and able to safely operate their vehicles (despite evidence to the contrary)

We are less in control than we would like to admit. I am thankful we made it back and that our prayers were answered. I am also thankful there is another day to practice some safe, assertive driving.

As we venture out, let’s try to be the answer to someone’s prayer, instead of the reason someone has, out of fear, urgently stepped up their prayer life!

Cartoon of father and son in car
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motivation

When we have unrealistic expectations

Cartoon of a dog washing dishes

I wrote a post in 2014 entitled How do you know when criticism isn’t working. We all face criticism if we do anything of value. One of the most common reasons we face criticism is unrealistic expectations.

We don’t expect a dog to wash dishes, much less do it perfectly. We can’t expect a child to act like an adult. Yesterday, I witnessed a mom trying to reason with a toddler about leaving the playground. I felt for the mom because the child wasn’t interested in a logical argument. It just wasn’t going to work!

The pandemic has caused all of us to reevaluate our expectations. It’s going to be a while before business and society get back-to-normal. We don’t know what normal will look like in six months, much less a year!

When you have unrealistic expectations…

  • Rethink if you need to wait for better conditions
  • Give yourself and others grace
  • Consider if there is an alternative to meeting similar goals
  • Find ways to be positive while acknowledging the situation is less than ideal

You probably can’t have your dog wash the dishes or the cat tidy up the kitchen. But you may find a better way to meet the goal. And perhaps an alternative timeline is the way to go.

Cartoon of a dog washing dishes
Categories
Parenting Cartoons

Should parents give up and let their kids watch TV?

Cartoon of a mom and a son. The mom says, "I don't care if all the TV moms would let you do it. I won't!"

When I drew this cartoon, I had a senior in high school and an eighth-grader. In recent weeks, I have thought about how I would have handled this crisis if it happened nine years ago. I ache for the seniors that have had their final year in high school or college flipped upside down.

Parents, I know you are facing challenges that are unprecedented. I can’t say I know exactly how it feels, because who has faced parenting under these circumstances? The closest thing I can relate to it is a midwestern winter that caused our kids to miss more than a week of school. Yes, I know it’s worse for this group of kids and parents!

Encouraging Words for Parents

It’s okay to let your kids watch some television. After all, this has been a tough time to be a parent. some of you have had to figure out how to work from home while homeschooling your kids. School districts realize this has been a challenge. Some have given up on remote learning for the rest of the year. Parents with more than one child have to be overwhelmed.

It’s okay to admit you are overwhelmed. You are not alone. Millions of families are going through the same struggle. We will all learn from it and be prepared for the fall. In the meantime, give yourself some grace. If school professionals are overwhelmed, you have permission to be as well.

Your kids may have spent a lot of time staring at screens. If they aren’t in front of it for learning, it may be the closest, most convenient entertainment. That’s okay. Give yourself some grace if you think they’ve had too much screen time. There will always be tomorrow. Acknowledge that today is done and you can plan for screen-free activities the next day.

Know that if you are frustrated and overwhelmed, your kids are too. Some are missing their friends. Others are mourning the abrupt end to the school year or their high school years. Give your kids the time and space to grieve. Yet also help them see they do have a future beyond this.

And if your child tries to compare you to a TV Mom or Dad, you can safely remind them that none of those one-dimensional parents had to deal with a pandemic. It’s apples and oranges my friends. Be encouraged. This crisis will one day end.

Cartoon of a mom and a son. The mom says, "I don't care if all the TV moms would let you do it. I won't!"

Categories
family motivation Teen Cartoons

Working With Your Teen During a Pandemic

cartoon of a mom and a young person in a messy room. The mom says, "I know why you're feeling down in the dumps. It's because your room looks like one."

This time is particularly tough for parents and teens. On one hand, teenagers are generally more self-directed and don’t need as much time as the younger kids. On the other hand, the teen years can already be a tumultuous, emotional time. When you add the extra layer of school disruption and little chance of teens seeing their friends during a lockdown, the emotions can run high. Odds are, if they are getting on your nerves, you are also getting on theirs!

There are some things you can do to help each other and your relationship during this time.

  • Acknowledge that this is difficult for them as well as you.
    • They are thinking about their future, and what it will look like to be an adult in a few years.
    • The teen years are already a time of extreme emotions and this isn’t helping!
    • They have tough decisions about testing, college, and graduation.
    • They know this is uncharted waters for everyone, including their peers and those they look up to.
  • Give them the opportunity to talk about this with you, with others, or another trusted adult.
    • If they don’t have the contact information, reach out to a friend, family member, counselor, or spiritual leader and help them talk through their feelings.
  • Allow them to have some self-expression, even if it means their room looks like the local landfill.
  • Be humble enough to admit with them you don’t have all the answers, but you will work with them and help them as the months roll on. Let them know they are not alone in figuring this out.

It is an unprecedented time. But in each challenge, there are also opportunities. There are opportunities for growth and opportunities to make your family bond stronger. Through all of this, acknowledge your emotions while striving to look up. We will get through this!

cartoon of a mom and a young person in a messy room. The mom says, "I know why you're feeling down in the dumps. It's because your room looks like one."