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motivation

Weddings Beget Marriages

Photo of decorated rafters at a wedding venue

I had the honor to witness the wedding of two very special people yesterday. It was wonderful to see two people make a commitment to one another and begin their lives together. Weddings mark the beginning of an institution with so much potential filled with hopes, dreams and love.

Can filled with lit glow sticks

Weddings are wonderful and important. But they are just the start of a marriage. Too often, we get excited about the big event, then lose enthusiasm quickly in the long haul.

My wife and I were at our reception table. She asked the couples how many years they were married. One said thirty-three years. Another thirty-seven. A third had been married twenty years. We have been married for thirty-one years. Between the four of us, there were one hundred and twenty-one accumulated years. In today’s world, that is so uncommon and special.

Each of the couples has had wonderful moments and challenges. Some of us had been there for the other couple in a difficult time. We have laughed and cried together. We had done life together.

I cherish the wedding day my wife and I had on a sunny December day. But I cherish even more the journey we have had in our marriage. The beginning event and the vows are great. The result of living out those vows through the years is even better.

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motivation

More Hope for Fools Than the Conceited

Cartoon: Pride and Humility

In 1980, Mac Davis had a hit with the song, It’s Hard to be Humble. Whenever I heard it, I thought it was hilarious because it seemed the singer had no clue how off putting it is to be so conceited. One verse particularly stood out to me:

Well, I could have lotsa friends if I wanted,
But then I wouldn’t stand out from the crowd.

Hard to be Humble lyrics at MetroLyrics.com

When I heard that, I would think that this poor guy didn’t have a clue. Conceit has a way of blinding the conceited person and making them a pariah. A conceited fool is someone to be pitied.

Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him.

Proverbs 26:12 (KJV)
Cartoon: Pride and Humility

Whenever a person, company or organization has success, they can fall into the conceit trap. Employees working for conceited companies can become conceited themselves. Have you ever tried to call customer service at a company that is a monopoly? Lily Tomlin had a skit where she was Ernestine, the Telephone Operator. It’s a take on two monopolies that had lost touch with customer service. I thought of that skit when “The Phone Company” was going through a court-ordered break up in the 1980s. I thought of it when Kodak imploded because thought they invented the digital camera, they were too conceited to sell it until it was too late. I thought of it when General Motors went through bankruptcy.

Conceit blinds us all. It turns successful people and companies into irrelevant dinosaurs. It blocks us from finding solutions to challenges. It makes us even more risk-averse because who wants to try something new and risk failure when they’ve been so successful in the past? It turns formerly productive people into lazy slugs.

Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble! But find a way to do it anyway. We must place ourselves in situations that require humility if we want to spare ourselves from becoming a conceited, irrelevant bore.

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motivation

Difficulties are the Way

Cartoon of a man and woman. A man reads a letter that had been thrown through a window. The woman says, "At least they returned your novel with a personal rejection letter."

I appreciated Dan Miller’s podcast the other day. The title had my attention right away. Yes, there are desirable difficulties! Here’s a link to the podcast:

https://www.48days.com/setbacks-and-difficulties/
Dan Miller’s 48 Day Podcast from December 27, 2019

As someone who has submitted cartoons and articles to magazines, sites, and books, I have experienced rejection. It is just part of the process. Not everything you create is going to be accepted by someone.

Cartoon of a man and woman. A man reads a letter that had been thrown through a window. The woman says, "At least they returned your novel with a personal rejection letter."

Yet none of the rejected cartoons or articles were a waste. I learned from each one. I have had some concepts rejected that I was sure were going to be sold. And I have had a cartoon or article accepted that I was sure was a silly idea. Each one helped me learn and polish my craft. Each concept and idea was valuable.

If you are going to do anything of value, you will experience difficulty. The road will be bumpy. You will start to question your talent and the process. But it’s the difficulties, the rejection, failures, and challenges you face that brings success. Keep plugging away and know you are not alone in facing difficulties.

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motivation

Trusting in a Fool

Cartoon of a boy with a halo. a girl says, "I'm your sister. You can't fool me!"

I felt anxious the other day only to find out I was on my fifth cup of coffee. I felt despondent and sluggish the other day only to find out it was past my bedtime. I felt angry the other day when a sem-trailer cut me off on the freeway. Later, I realized I may have been in his blind spot and he had no idea I was back there. It reminded me I have blind spots every day.

It’s a good thing I can remember my emotions and insights are fickle.

Those who trust their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe.

Proverbs 28:26
Cartoon of a boy with a halo. a girl says, "I'm your sister. You can't fool me!"

Insights change along with emotions and our maturity.

  • I once thought I could grow up to be an astronaut, artist, and a paramedic all at once
  • I once thought my little sisters were annoying. Then we grew up and I discovered they were mature, young women with amazing talents and wisdom.
  • I used to think my parents could learn a thing or two from me until I got married and had kids of my own. It’s amazing how many people without kids are parenting experts until they have kids!

One of the most liberating conclusions I ever had was that I am a fool… and so are you! We all are if we are not careful.

  • We change
  • Our past experiences affect our future perceptions
  • Our emotions are fickle
    • Chronic negative emotions turn into bad attitudes that are unhelpful, even harmful.
  • We are affected by groupthink
  • We can be manipulated by the media, politicians, and anyone with charisma

So how do you get wisdom? Personally, I’ve found the book of Proverbs to be very helpful. If you are not a Bible reader, seek out books of wisdom or read biographies of people you admire and respect. See what has guided them. Seek out old adages, such as Ben Franklin’s adages.

Wisdom does not change with the times or our emotions. Certain bedrock truths like treating everyone the way you want to be treated and haste makes waste, will guide us when we feel like chucking it all in and acting like a selfish jerk.

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motivation

Why it is so important to shake things up

Tombstone with the last name: Stuck

It caught me off guard when I saw it that Saturday morning. I was running through a cemetary because, well because Greenville Union Cemetary is the best place to run in Greenville, Ohio. It’s peaceful, there’s a long paved road and not much activity on it. The residents don’t seem to mind, either.

I was peacefully running along when I saw it in the morning sun. The tombstone stood right in front of me and was shouting a message to me.

Tombstone with the last name: Stuck

Someone was stuck, and it was me! I had attempted to revive my business that had suffered two cross-country moves. I was looking for a job that matched my skills. Nothing seemed to be working. As I stared at the message from the beyond, one thing became clear.

It was time to shake things up or stay stuck!

I didn’t feel like spending the rest of my life in the cemetery. So the only logical step was to shake things up.

That day, I changed my strategy and eventually found a job that I have loved. It has allowed me to use my graphic design skills in a management position. With the benefit of hindsight, I say the discomfort was worth it.

Looking back, I am thankful for that time. It was not because I was struggling that makes it great, but because my wife and I decided a couple of years before that to take some risks. We could have chosen to coast by for the rest of our lives and be comfortable. Instead, we took some steps by faith and shook things up.

There are many who are comfortable in their discomfort. They have settled into a situation they don’t particularly like, but feel it’s better than trying something new. It doesn’t have to be that way! No matter your age, you can try something new. It’s much better to shake things up than to be stuck and feel like you are biding your time in a figurative cemetery.