Tag: self-control

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self-control

Self-Control and Broken Walls

This morning, I get to talk to kids about self-control. It centers around this Proverb:

A person without self-control
is like a city with broken-down walls.

Proverbs 25:28

It’s a topic we know we all need, but rarely want to talk about. After all, it is much easier to blame others for our lack of willpower, than take responsibility. As a parent, some of the most humbling times were when it was obvious to my kids I wasn’t exhibiting strong character. It usually involved a bag of chips.

Cartoon of a dad eating potato chips. He says to his son, "Hey, Son. I'd like to talk to you about self control right after I finish this bag of chips."
Published in the January 2012 Church of God Newsletter

We all have issues with self-control. Whether it’s a weakness for tasty food, idleness, or something much harder to control, we all struggle with something. Why do I suddenly feel hungry this morning?

Categories
motivation

War and Peace

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”

Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin Quotes. BrainyQuote.com, BrainyMedia Inc, 2021. https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/benjamin_franklin_141046, accessed December 30, 2021.

Frequently, our culture encourages us to confront others. If they don’t believe what our group believes, they are heathens that we should deal with. Media and advertisements tell us we’re okay and if there is any problem, it’s because of “those” people.

This philosophy is enticing because it takes the responsibility off of us. We’re off the hook if everyone else is the problem. We don’t have to change and our kids are all right!

However, the problem with this outlook is nothing ever changes. We discover the other group thinks they are in the right as well. So we have a choice between trying to coerce someone else to change or changing ourselves. And who do we have more control over?

And of course, if the other group is the problem, we must confront them. We should tell them that they’re wrong, ridicule them, shame them and if necessary, fight them. When we do this, we join a proud tradition of going to war.

In this quote, Benjamin Franklin reminds us it is only ourselves that we can change. We have plenty of vices to work on. Let’s start where we are and make this next year a better one.

Categories
accountability motivation

Anything Goes… Until it Doesn’t

Quote by John Maxwell: a life in which anything goes will ultimately be a life in which nothing goes well. Maxwell, John C.. Developing the Leader Within You 2.0 (Developing the Leader Series) (p. 34). HarperCollins Leadership. Kindle Edition.

“A life in which anything goes will ultimately be a life in which nothing goes well.”

Maxwell, John C. Developing the Leader Within You 2.0 (Developing the Leader Series)(p. 34). HarperCollins Leadership. Kindle Edition.

We all have at least some autonomy to do whatever we want. We can…

  • Spend work goofing off because the boss is out today
  • Eat that full bag of chips… along with an entire pizza
  • Cheat on those financials because only you know the data
  • Lie about what happen since you were the only witness

Yes, we have the freedom to do what we want. And in an anything-goes-world, there is much more beyond my imagination that any of us could do.

But sooner or later, we will suffer the consequences of bad decisions.

  • The latest employee evaluation criticizes your lack of productivity
  • You suffer a health crisis because on your eating habits
  • The auditors are demanding the data because something is definately off
  • There is evidence that proves you lied

Anything goes is a poor strategy for going forward. We all need boundaries. We are accountable for our actions. John Maxwell had this quote concerning planning our daily-to-do list. It’s a reminder to me that even the decisions that may not appear to have large consequences can come back to affect us.

Categories
motivation

The Freedom to Make Bad Choices

Cartoon of a boy with a big mouth about to consume a birthday cake. The caption reads, "This choice make come back to haunt him."

Ooh! That choice may come back to haunt him! But I can relate. My inner child likes to make gluttony an Olympic sport. I’ve been called a cookie monster fairly recently. I have made my way through scores of cakes, pies, and assorted baked goods over the years. They would probably fill an Olympic size pool.

Cartoon of a boy with a big mouth about to consume a birthday cake. The caption reads, "This choice make come back to haunt him."

We have the freedom to make bad choices every day. Of course, there is always a price to pay. If I didn’t attempt to control my appetite and never exercised, I could be facing a much heavier body with chronic illness. But that would be my choice.

I could choose to weigh thirty pounds heavier as I did twenty years ago. It would be my choice, because as Zig Ziglar said, “I never accidentally ate anything!”

Some bad choices are made knowing there are consequences. Some are made out of ignorance. We can be foolish and choose to ignore the wisdom that can save us from heartache. Some bad choices are made out of entitlement. We think we deserve something so we feel justified in making that choice.

But when we make a bad choice, let’s be honest enough to admit it was our choice. It does no good to blame others for our bad choices. It reminds me of this proverb:

The foolishness of man perverteth his way: and his heart fretteth against the Lord.

Proverb 19:3 KJV

Yes, we have the freedom to make bad choices. But we also have the responsibility to own up to them. The next time I see a plate of cookies (especially chocolate chip cookies), I will probably indulge. But I won’t blame anyone but me if I gain a few pounds.

Categories
morning people motivation

Start the Day With Intentionality

Cartoon of boy and jack-o-lantern. The boy says, "It's six in the morning. Stop looking so happy!"

This week, I’ve been reading The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. It has already transformed the way I wake up in the morning. I have already had a morning ritual for many years. But he is showing me a more intentional way to master the morning. His enthusiasm, his story of overcoming adversity and his practical tips have captivated me. I’m sure I’ll share more about this book in another post.

The other day, I also read an article entitled, This 60-Second Habit Has Helped Put Me in a Better, More Productive Mood Each Morning by Scott Mautz at Inc.com. In it, Scott says he starts each day by taking a minute to ask himself the following every day:

  • What am I thankful for today?
  • Who might I thank today?
  • What one thing should I be thinking of today?

One theme through both reads stood out to me. How you begin your day is so crucial. It can make your day fantastic or a fiasco. Most of us don’t consider this truth. Instead we…

  • Wait until the last minute to wake up because we’re so tired
  • Wake up on autopilot
  • Rush through the morning because we’re running behind

It may surprise some people who know me, but when I was younger, I didn’t consider myself a morning person. I got up when I had to and rushed through the morning only to get stuck in rush hour traffic and watch my fellow commuters get angrier and more flustered by the minute.

Having kids cured me of that malady. When I had to get up with them, and when realized how my day began would affect their day. I realized getting up early to get some exercise, pray and have devotions would steer my day in the way I would prefer.

Let us know how you start your day in the comments. Do you start in a rush? Do you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl?